My primary femshep + the widow antimaterial rifle = OTP
Watching all of Aliens at the moment. Poor Ripley. I think Shepard has it much better. At least people s/he knew were still alive when s/he gets resurrected. And now I sit here wondering about an alternate universe version of Mass Effect where Shepard gets rezzed 200 years later. D:
“…what the hell are you doing?”
Lascus exhaled, smoke lazily drifting up and out the open window he was standing by as he tapped some ash off the end of his cigarette, turning back towards Veda. The Asari was still in bed, laying on her side beneath the sheets with her head rested on her hand, her expression the same as it usually was; halfway between bemused and annoyed.
“Oh hey, you’re up.” The Turian’s mandibles parted a little in a smile. “Didn’t wake you, did I?”
“Seriously, this entire apartment is yours Arkai’ick.” She made a sweeping motion with her arm for emphasis. “You could smoke wherever you please, but instead you’re perched by the window like a convict trying to catch a glimpse of sunlight.”
Lascus just shrugged, taking another drag on his cigarette. “Force of habit I guess. The former-Missus Arkai’ick didn’t like the smell of smoke in the house, even with the air filters and everything. So, I just got used to sneaking a sly one out the window.” He smiled again. “Once I get set in my ways, I stick to them pretty regularly. How do you think I’ve hung in there so long chasing after you with all the shit that’s happened between us?”
Veda stared at him blankly for a few seconds, her face completely neutral. Then, she just scoffed, falling back against the pillow. “Weird.”
Lascus arched a brow plate incredulously. “Really? You’re calling me weird?”
“Yeah. Weird.” There was another long pause before she spoke again. “Weirdo.”
“You know, I’m not even going to get into the level of hypocrisy in that statement.”
“But you are anyway. You’re so predictable.” It was Veda’s turn to smile; well, smirk. Almost the same thing, but with way more ‘smartass’ involved.
“Seriously? You’re calling me the weird one?” Lascus emoted with his smoking claw wildly as he talked, smoke drifting all around him and bits of ash going to and fro. “You’re the one with the history of sudden, random, violent outbursts. To say nothing of the fact that you burst into song more than the damn theater district; and not about sane stuff either. What was that little ditty you busted out at the bar that time? The one about floral print condoms?” Even with their little “argument”, the smile on Lascus’ face never fully disappeared.
“That-” Veda pointed emphatically at Lascus as she continued to lay on the bed. “-is a classic. Don’t talk shit about it. You did say I’m prone to ‘sudden, random violence’ after all.”
“Ohhhh! I’m so afraid.” Lascus quivered dramatically for a few seconds before going back to his cigarette- which was just about tapped out. “Like you could do anything more to me at this point. I’m already bruised and battered from your performance earlier this evening.” He gingerly rubbed an area that was still tender, wincing a bit.
Veda snorted. “You big baby. I warned you didn’t I?”
“I thought you were just trying to do dirty talk; get me revved up.” Lascus sighed. “I should’ve known better. You’re Veda after all. You’re blunt, to the point, and have a tendency to beat me to a pulp.”
“If you don’t get your ass back in this bed right now I’ll come over there and prove that last statement is true.”
“Well now.” His small smile was replaced by a devilish grin, his mandibles spreading further apart. “Just can’t get enough of me can you? You’re already dying for another sparring match in the guise of coitus?”
She snorted again. “Hardly. Don’t kid yourself. I want you over here because you’re warm and this room is fucking freezing.”
“Really?” He put on his best innocent expression. “I don’t think it’s that cold in here.”
She gathered the covers around herself, shivering beneath them. “Are you kidding? Seriously, I thought your kind hated the cold. How in the hell can you keep your room at this temp? It’s fucking frigid.”
He chuckled as he snuffed out his cigarette, sliding the window shut before making his way back over to the bed, sliding under the covers and shuffling up next to Veda, draping an arm around her shoulders. “An old secret I learned from a master.”
“A master of what?” She responded dryly. “Hibernation for Turians?”
“Not exactly.” Lascus chuckled. “Solon told me about the ‘Icebox Icebreaker’ back when we were still partners down in the Wards. Step One, turn the heat way down; Step Two, plead ignorance when the lady asks why it’s so cold; Step Three, offer yourself up as a source of heat; And the Fourth and Final Step, after extended cuddling watch the panties fly off.”
Veda sighed. “You fucking dork. I should leave right now out of spite. How would that factor into your ‘master’s’ plan?”
“You’re more than welcome to. Of course, that would mean you’d have to get out of bed.”
There was a long pause. Finally, Veda snuggled a little closer to Lascus in defeat. “Shit.” Lascus just kept on smiling; now it was the smile of a winner.
For a while, neither of them said anything. They just laid there, close to one another for warmth, with the only sound being their quiet breathing. A few minutes later, it was Lascus’ turn to break the silence.
“You know, you never said if I was any good or not.”
“At what?” Veda responded groggily, not opening her eyes.
Lascus shuffled uncomfortably. “You know…”
Veda shifted a little so she could look into Lascus’ eyes, while giving him an un-amused expression. “Really?”
“What?” Lascus shrugged. “It’s an honest question.”
“Does it really even matter now?”
“A little, yeah.” His mandibles fluttered in a nervous tic. “I’m kinda self-conscious about it. It’s like I told you beforehand; I’m way out of practice. I just want to make sure you enjoyed yourself and I wasn’t completely shit.”
Another snort from Veda. “How long has it- …had, it been then. Before tonight?”
Lascus furrowed his browplates in thought, doing math in his head. “I suppose it’s been almost… two years now.”
“Hmm…” Now Veda appeared to be thinking. “Alright Lascus. I’ll be honest with you.” She crawled up his plated body, resting her chin on his chest, looking right at him as she began her exposition:
“You were awful. I mean, you were absolutely terrible. In fact, you were so terrible, that I think that since I am now part of a very small club of women who have had to suffer through it, I now have a burden that I need to take on for the good of the galaxy. What I am going to do, in an act of selfless heroism, is have sex with you for the rest of your life so that no one else in Citadel Space has to suffer through the horror. I will offer my body up to you every night in an experience of agony so that no other woman even has the opportunity to be subjected to the terrible, awful, monstrous exercise that is sex with you.”
Lascus stared off into space for a few moments, mulling over what Veda had just said. After sufficient time thinking, his browplates shot up and he nodded in approval, reaching out and stroking a claw along her head with a wry half-smile. “I’ll take it.”
Veda smirked in reply before rolling back onto her side, resting a hand on his chest where her chin had been. “That’s cute…” Her fingernails scratched his hide lightly. “You say that as if you had a choice.”
And just like that, they were back to the silence again. Nothing but white noise in the background; the whirr of the air vents, the hum of idling electronics. Lascus broke the silence again after a few minutes, his tone more hushed this time.
“Arkai’ick?” Veda sounded groggier than before; probably about ready to drift off to sleep after the evening’s events. Lascus decided to try and get the words out quick.
“Are you… do you have anywhere you need to be tomorrow?”
“No.” She answered simply. Something clicked in her brain a few seconds later. “Why?” She asked, now more awake.
“It’s just…” He fidgeted a little, his voice dropping a few octaves to a bashful whisper. “… you could stay here, you know, if you wanted. I have nothing going on either.”
A short chuckle from Veda. “Really now?”
“Hey, I’m just trying to save you some effort and exertion.” The volume of his voice increased a bit as he found his courage. “Think about it: If you were going to go somewhere else, you’d need to get up, shower, get dressed. Then you’d have to open the door, and walk all the way down to the elevator, push a button to open another door, push another button to go down. Then don’t get me started about all the shit you’d need to go through when you got to the parking garage. Or…”
“…or you could stay here in bed with me. You know, where it’s warm, and it’s comfortable-“
“And there happens to be a horny old Turian with a taste for Asari lurking” Veda piped in, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Your words, not mine.” Lascus craned his neck down so he could see her better. “Well, what do you think, hmm?”
Veda look up at him, those gold eyes with an orangish tint gazing down at her expectantly, hopefully. He looked like a puppy begging for a treat- no, no that’s too materialistic. It was more than that with him. It was like… like a puppy dying for some praise or affection. A little scratch behind its ears, a kiss on the nose, a belly rub; something from its owner that would let it know that it was loved and needed. Something. Anything.
“…alright.” She said softly. “I mean, unless something more important comes up.” She quickly added in afterwards, flippantly. “I’m sure there’s a shit-ton of important things that might suddenly need to be done. I could hear about a major crime, an old map for sale, things like that.” She nodded to herself, as if trying to convince herself of that. “But, barring those circumstances. Yeah. I might as well save some energy like you said. Stay here, relax…”
She inched closer to Lascus as he wrapped his arms a little tighter around her. The smile he’d had on all night had changed its form again; to one he hadn’t had in a long time. It was the smile of a once-lonely man, who had slept alone in a bed built for two for far too long, and suddenly wasn’t alone. A man who was going to sleep sounder that night than he had in all the nights previous for a long time. There was only one thing he could think of to say in reply:
quick ‘n dirty nyreen aria paint! because i have fallen head over heels in love with this OTP
i hereby dub this ship nyria
Two teenagers are sitting together on a big dusty grey rock: a boy and a girl, admiring the view. Mostly.
The rock is on the Moon. It’s on the peak-ridge of one of the Lunar Carpathians, which is a young and jagged mountain range rearing up over the pale rolling highlands that run down toward…